Gospel Prism

Some of you know that while Shua’s away, I have the task of homeschooling the kids.  I must say that out of all of the things I have been doing these past two weeks, this has been the most humbling.  There were times that I could recall Shua telling me how she struggles with patience with the kids.  This was usually after a couple of months teaching and doing all of the other things that she does.

Well for me, after two days, I lost my patience.  Not only have I been frustrated by their ’slow’ progress (code word for my lack of patience, not their lack of ability), but I blew up at Charisa for misplacing a book.  After my meltdown, I took about 2 minutes staring at the corner of the room.  When I shared this story with someone, he said, “You mean you gave yourself a timeout?”  And that’s exactly what I did.  The dunce was sent to the corner of the room.  And there are stood, feeling low, idiotic, mean-spirited, just downright sinful.  How could I lose my cool that easily over something so insignificant?  I repented before the Lord and then turned around and apologized to Charisa and asked for her forgiveness.  I could see that her eyes had welled up.  But she was gracious and forgave me.  Afterwords, the tone of the day changed.

It’s still hard, don’t get me wrong.  But I am much more aware of just how wretched I am.  Once again, I have come to see just how desperate I am for God’s grace in my life.  And how kind He is to send His Son for me even despite my outbursts of sin.  This is how gracious God is to me.  This is what I find to be once again, amazing grace.