Gospel Prism

[Due to Luke's insight, I've changed the title, Shua is in Africa..., thx Luke]

I know…it’s been a long time since I’ve written. Sometimes, I just like getting off my blogs and all blogs. It reminds me that I am no one special, that I do not need the fame of being known or having the coolest blog or having words that ’should’ be read.

So with that said, I thought I’d write about what we miss most about my wife Shua and what my kids said to me when I asked them, “What do you miss most about mommy?”

Charisa: “I miss the fact that mommy won’t be here for my birthday.” As she was saying this, tears starterd welling up in her eyes. Charisa’s a brave one. She really tries to hold back her tears, but I can tell her heart is sad. I tried to change the subject after this because it seemed to be really affecting her.

Sarah: “I miss her hugs and kisses.” When Shua left, she gave each child a card and a small gift. Sarah said that she reads that card every night to herself and starts crying. Melted my heart when I heard that. I told her, “I think mommy will be really happy when she hears that.”

Elisabeth: “I miss spending time with mommy.” Elisabeth and Jack are a bit young to fully grasp that mommy is fully away. But Elisabeth continually says, “I miss mommy.”

Jack: Jack says, “I miss mommy,” when everyone else says that. I think he defintely misses her, but he really doesn’t understand what’s going on.

Sam: I miss Shua’s laugh, her tenderness, her company, her soft voice. As I have been homeschooling, feeding, cleaning, doing laundry, playing, I just don’t understand how Shua does it all without being angry all of the time. I have seen my sin so clearly in these past two weeks. I blew up at Charisa because she misplaced a book and I had to ask for her forgiveness for sinning against her. I have been on the verge of anger so many times with each child that I am amazed that God uses me in any way. But that truly is where the Gospel lies. I am truly a great sinner but thanks be to God that He really is a great Savior.

For any husband who has lost their way with their wife, who has taken her for granted, who has forgotten just how precious she truly is, send her to Africa for a few weeks and you’ll see just what and who she is in your life.

One last note: There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think, “What if Shua never returns?” As JE said in his resolutions, “Resolved to think about death every day while I live.” Such thinking might sound morbid, but in actuality, it makes me appreciate Shua so much. And my prayer is that this will continue to carry over even when she returns, even when I wake up and I see her sleeping next to me. Because whether she returns from Africa or not, one day, some day, we will wake up and the other will no longer be there but worshipping Christ eternally.