Gospel Prism

“Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. 5 You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. 6 And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. 8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.

Deuteronomy 6:7-8

Introduction

Our fifth value reads:

We value the eternal souls of the NEXT GENERATION and their ongoing pursuit and proclamation of the Gospel of Christ.

What led me/us to phrase this value this way has been much reflection on the valuable place children have in the proclamation of the Gospel. In reading about the ministries of past saints, men such as George Whitefield, John Newton, Robert Murray McCheyne, Dwight Moody, J. C. Ryle, it amazes me to see how much they emphasized the critical importance on ministry to children. In their teachings one common thread occurs, they treat children as eternal souls. They didn’t speak down to children as if they were incapable of understanding biblical ideas and grand themes of theology. They realized that so much was at stake, both the souls of these children and also of future generations. And so they taught them the Gospel as though they were actually able to learn and understand it.

And one thing I have realized as a parent is that I should never underestimate the ability of children to understand. Children understand much more than we give them credit for and usually it is parental laziness and self-centeredness that leads to hands-off, unintentional parenting. When Shua and I are having intense discussions about a particular subject, I will catch a glimpse of Charisa with her ears quite attentive to our discussions. She can understand subtleties, complex discussions, idioms, expressions. She is always inquisitive, often too inquisitive. So to speak to her heart is not impossible, but it does take time, energy, intentionality, and commitment. It takes me seeing her not merely as my child, but as my grandchild’s mother, and as my great grandchild’s grandmother. One day she will be in a room pushing with all of her might as her husband encourages her on to deliver her first child. One day Charisa herself will be teaching her children the Gospel. One day she will be in the Gospel Train room reminding 8 year olds that the Gospel is their only hope to their greatest joy.

You see, we need to see our children as souls, people God will use for His glory. God sees them not only as they are but also who they will be one day. After all, this is the God that Moses describes this way:

For a thousand years in your sight are but as yesterday when it is past, or as a watch in the night.” (Psalm 90:4)

What is time to a God who has no beginning and no end? So if God sees our children through the lens of eternity, then so too must we. Children are a blessing because they are from the Lord as Psalm 126:3-5 states:

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. 4 Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. 5 Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!

But children are also sinners who are in need of God’s grace. They need the Gospel. And today’s children will be tomorrow’s adults who will either reject the Gospel or proclaim the Gospel. This is why Wellspring values these eternal souls and it is because of the Gospel that we long to advance this Gospel to the next generation.

So what then must we remember as we value these eternal souls? What keeps us on the right track in leading children to love the great news of the Gospel?

Children Are People Created In God’s Image

We must first remember that children are people created in God’s image. We need look no further than Genesis 1:27 to see this reality: “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” When Moses uses the word ‘man,’ he is referring to all human beings, including children. And because of this reason, children must be treated with dignity. Jesus makes this clear when he rebuked his disciples for putting off the children who wanted to see him:

And they were bringing children to him that he might touch them, and the disciples rebuked them. 14 But when Jesus saw it, he was indignant and said to them, “Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. 15 Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.” 16 And he took them in his arms and blessed them, laying his hands on them. (Mark 10:13-16)

And then in Mark 9:42, Jesus tells his listeners that those who lead children to sin face grave consequences:

Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him if a great millstone were hung around his neck and he were thrown into the sea.

Also, not only are children valued by God, but also unborn children as well. Again, because God is not limited by time and space but sees and knows all, He treasures the child being formed in his mother’s womb according to Psalm 139:15-16:

My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. 16 Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.

Here we see clearly that God knows all the days of one’s life as yet there was none of them. An unborn child is known by God as if he were an old man.

So children cannot be a mere afterthought in our lives and our church. They are not to be seen as nuisances, nor distractions. They are blessings from God, to be treated with dignity. Recently, I have made a decision that when I am in the car with my children that I would turn off the radio. It used to be when Charisa and Sarah and I would get in the car, the first thing I would do would be to turn on the news. It kept my mind busy since I had assumed there really wasn’t much subject matter to talk with my kids. And so, I would be driving along with my kids quiet and me focusing on the news. Truly, my heart at this moment did not treat my children with dignity. They were mere distractions and nuisances. One more example comes from my times staring at a screen called the computer monitor. My kids will come upstairs to show me something they have made or drawn or created and they will say, “Daddy, look at what I have drawn for you.” And as I stare at the screen with a trance that would rival any zombie, I say with a monotonic voice, “Oh that’s great.” Of course, my kids see right through my lack of sincerity since I haven’t even turned my head. They bring their art project downstairs with certain disappointment, while I continue to stare at was is ‘truly important.’ This is not the heart of a person who deems his children as a ‘heritage of the Lord.’ And I have had to repent for my lack of care and concern for my children’s joy. Thus, we must begin by remembering that children are created in God’s image and deserving of the dignity that such a truth deserves.

Children Are Sinners

Second, we must remember as we value eternal souls that children are sinners; that is, children are totally depraved like adults in need of God’s grace through Christ. When Paul writes in Romans 3:23: “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” he leaves no exception for children. In fact, Romans 5:12-21 Paul leaves no doubt that children are completely depraved since they, like all humans, have inherited sin from Adam. And then Romans 8:7-8 tells us that “the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot. 8 Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.” This of course includes children.

So lest we forget, children are as sinful as adults are. By sin, we mean that children are predisposed to want to be their own God rather than depending on the promises of God. Like adults who are by nature selfish, self-worshipping, and naturally rebellious towards God, so too are children. J. C. Ryle describes the child’s sinful heart well when he says:

You must not expect to find your children’s minds a sheet of pure white paper, and to have no trouble if you only use right means. I warn you plainly you will find no such thing. It is painful to see how much corruption and evil there is in a young child’s heart, and how soon it begins to bear fruit. Violent tempers, self-will, pride, envy, sullenness, passion, idleness, selfishness, deceit, cunning, falsehood, hypocrisy, a terrible aptness to learn what is bad, a painful slowness to learn what is good, a readiness to pretend anything in order to gain their own ends, all these things, or some of them, you must be prepared to see, even in your own flesh and blood. In little ways they will creep out at a very early age; it is almost startling to observe how naturally they seem to spring up. Children require no schooling to learn to sin. (J. C. Ryle, The Duties of Parents, 14)

There is no child who is free from the pull and tug of sin, though far too many parents do not believe this to be true. There is no such thing as a child who sins cutely, although there are many children who sin with manipulation that parents deems cute. Take for example, the little baby who crawls over to the outlet. You have taught that little baby that she must never touch the outlet or stick anything inside. But one day you see her crawl over, bat her eyelashes at you, hesitate to move toward the outlet, looking at you and then looking back at the outlet, she makes her move. In other words, knowing what you have taught her (hence the hesitation), she has decided that her way, rather than yours, is the better way. (This is story is an adaptation from a Kenneth Maresco illustration.) I have been in public places such as airports, grocery stores, parks, where 4 year olds will hit their mothers, slap their fathers, spit on their parents with nothing more than the following retort from the parents, “No, that’s not nice!” While those around are thinking, “These parents are being dominated by their kids.” Well, there was a time when that 4 year old was a one year old ‘cutie’ who decided disobedience was more fun than obedience.

So where does an 8 month old who refuses to obey mom or dad get his sin? From television? From the movies? From their play-date buds? No, it comes from within. If we think of our children as inherently good, that will drastically shape the way we raise our children. But if you believe them to be sinful as Scripture teaches, then you must realize that though they are to be treated with dignity, they have no love for God and they need the Gospel as desperately as any adult.

Which leads me to this statement, children need to be taught the Gospel just like adults. Paul tells us in Romans 1:16 that the Gospel is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes. The Gospel has the power to change hearts at the youngest of ages. And so the Gospel must be taught to children. And my dear parents, you have the primary responsibility to teach this Gospel to your children. According to the Bible, more than providing food, clothing, shelter, education, recreation, your first responsibility is to teach the Gospel to your kids and we see this in Deuteronomy 6:7-8 which leads us to the third point we must remember as we value eternal souls.

Parents Have The Primary Responsibility To Teach Their Children The Gospel

Parents have the primary responsibility to teach their children the Gospel (Deut 6:7-8). There is no stronger biblical mandate for this than Deuteronomy 6:7-8. Moses tells the people of Israel: “You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. 8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.” This follows what Jesus calls the first greatest commandment, that we should love the Lord our God with all our hearts, souls, minds, and strength. In the midst of what is the foundation not only of Mosaic law, but of the greatest of all commandments, why would Moses follow with instructions for children?

We need to remember that Moses was giving instructions not merely how to live morally, but rather how to prosper for generations. This was God’s covenant to His people. If they should obey Him, God will forever bless them and be their God. These were eternal instructions really, as Jesus Himself sums up the law and the prophets in this command. In other words, we need to think beyond mere moral and behavioral effects. God is showing us how future generations will continue to receive His blessings, by being continually instructed about a great God who always leads, guides, protects, and loves His people. And this is why Moses tells Israel that they must teach children to remember God’s continual mercy, grace, and salvation (the Gospel):

When your son asks you in time to come, ‘What is the meaning of the testimonies and the statutes and the rules that the Lord our God has commanded you?’ 21 then you shall say to your son, ‘We were Pharaoh’s slaves in Egypt. And the Lord brought us out of Egypt with a mighty hand. 22 And the Lord showed signs and wonders, great and grievous, against Egypt and against Pharaoh and all his household, before our eyes. 23 And he brought us out from there, that he might bring us in and give us the land that he swore to give to our fathers. 24 And the Lord commanded us to do all these statutes, to fear the Lord our God, for our good always, that he might preserve us alive, as we are this day. 25 And it will be righteousness for us, if we are careful to do all this commandment before the Lord our God, as he has commanded us.’” (Deut 6:20-25)

And teaching children is the primary means by which this instruction to future generations is accomplished.

So how do we instruct our children as parents with the Gospel?

The first means is our modeling. Whether you like it or not, your children want to imitate you and will imitate you. These days, my son Jack is in the habit of wanting to dress how I dress. When I come down stairs after changing, Jack will look at me and then look at himself and he’ll say, “Daddy, you’re wearing shorts and your Wellspring shirt.” He’ll be wearing pants and a dinosaur shirt. The next thing I know, I see him later wearing shorts and his Wellspring shirt. Shua and I find that our children will use the same idioms and phrases that we use, and we’ll ask ourselves, “Where did they pick that up?” But of course we know. They listen and they follow. Gardiner Spring observes:

No child is too young to be the accurate observer of its parent’s conduct, and to be purified or contaminated, by that example. However unwittingly, we are constantly molding our children’s minds, habit, and character by the power of our example. (Gardiner Spring, Hints to Parents, 32)

So you need to know that you have an important tool at your fingertips to train your child. If you pray in the morning and read the Word regularly, know that your children are watching. One day, they will remember seeing you on your knees and it will make a deep impression in their souls. When you lovingly care for your wife, praising her, admiring her, cherishing her, your sons will grow to do the same to theirs. And this is why my friends, we worship together in song. We want your kids to see you sing, worship, pray, give offering, lift your hands, bow your heads, whisper words of praise to your Father. Not only is corporate worship a time where you individually worship God, and corporately worship your Father, but it’s a time of modeling worship for your children. Also, how you speak, the tones of your voice, whether you are angry all the time or gentle, when you come into the home all the time tired, irritable, tense will dramatically impact what your children will be like when they are adults. Your children are watching and they will follow. Douglas Wilson rightly notes:

Nothing undermines godly parenting more than hypocrisy. When children see that they are expected to be obedient to the parents’ authority while the parents have no such expectations for themselves, the results are regularly disastrous. (Douglas Wilson, Standing on the Promises of God, 37)

My friends, dear parents, model love. Listen to what Paul says we must be like in our modeling to our children:

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (1 Cor 13:4-7)

When you model biblical love, you teach in ways words often fall short.

But of course, this does not preclude verbal instruction. The second means to instructing our children is through Gospel teaching. Let’s go back to Moses in Deuteronomy 6. The people of Israel are in a foreign land where they face rough terrain and rough people. They have spent forty years in the desert wanting to go home, rebelling against God and Moses. Their parents had all died in the desert because of this rebellion and it would be the next generation who would enter the land. So what should Moses tell these people before he himself dies? What would sustain them to prosper in this situation, to retain identity and hope? According to Deuteronomy 6, it is to love God with an utmost passion. And the way this is accomplished is to teach children what God has done to demonstrate His glory, His power, His mercy, and His grace. It is accomplished by prioritizing a love of God before anyone else and before anything else. Apart from this instruction, children and their children and their children will turn away from the Lord, and this is evident throughout the Bible (as we see in Judges, and you can also read the Kings and all of the prophets who are continually telling Israel to turn back to Him).

Voddie Bauckham, in his book Family Driven Faith, tells the story about Thomas a once promising college baseball player who was kicked off his team when a test revealed that he had taken anabolic steroids. His father went to see Voddie to share with him his story. As he sat there grieving over his son, he wondered how things went so wrong. He explained that Thomas had grown up in church. He was a ‘good kid.’ He was active in the youth group. He went to church camps and retreats. He went on a missions trip. He even went to a Christian college. He had always done what Christian parents wanted from their kids in high school: Good grades, good friends, active in church, popular, and very athletic. But what his parents did not see was that Thomas stopped attending church in college. He also struggled in class. And then he was dismissed from the team. So where did things go wrong?

In Voddie’s discussion with Thomas’ father, he learned that he was playing baseball at 6 and was receiving private instructions at 9. He also needed to travel because of the various all-star teams he was a part of which meant that attendance to church and worship during the summer and fall for their whole family was sporadic at best. The reality was that Thomas’ parents had laid the groundwork in Thomas’ heart that baseball was more important that God. Thomas’ father spent hours fielding grounders, learning how to turn double plays, coaching Thomas’ little league teams, but when Voddie asked his dad if he had family worship with Thomas, his answer was, “I never thought about it.” (Voddie Baucham, Family Driven Faith, 33-36)

This is sadly the case for most of us. Our parents might have worked hours trying to provide a good home and things for us to enjoy. Many have attended church and heard teaching about God, about the Gospel. But so few have heard words of the Gospel from our parents’ lips. They were more concerned about our SAT score or what school we attended or whether we hit a home run in little league than whether we loved the Lord our God will ALL that we had. And the fruit of those priorities is being borne out in this generation. More people are turning away from Christ, are more biblically illiterate, and are more prone to follow every tide of the culture than ever before. And my dear parents, unless you change your priorities and love the Lord with all that you have, you will be no different than your parents or Thomas’ parents. And I am afraid, I will be having similar conversations with some of you where you are sitting there with me asking, “Where have we gone wrong?”

You are the primary instructors of the Gospel for your children. You must teach your children how God saves His people, just like Moses reminded the people of Israel to remember God’s deliverance. But we have the fuller picture than what Moses had. Moses could only talk about a foreshadowing historical event, the deliverance from Egypt. That picture only looked to the future of what Christ would do which was to save God’s people through the suffering, subsitutionary death of His Son to save all sinners who trust in Him. You must be regularly teaching your children about the Gospel, just as you need to preach the Gospel to your own soul. Look at Deut 6:7-8 again. We must teach our children all the time or they will forget. Without regular teaching, they will not remember as even we adults have such a difficult time remember God’s grace. So how can we do this?

Family Devotions

If you do not do so already, carve out a family worship time where you can remind kids through His Word about the Gospel of God. It doesn’t have to be long, but it must be regular and consistent. I recommend using the Bible. Catherine Vos has a really good children’s Bible that I like using more than any other. Also, you can begin family worship when children are very young. As soon as you read books to your children you can have family worship. It won’t be intricate, but it will be fruitful. Also, make this time interesting. Bring out Bible maps to show kids where the places of the Bible are. There are also some great books that one can use devotionally with children. Here are some of my favorites:

Boys and Girls Playing, J. C. Ryle
I love this book. It’s a collection of J. C. Ryle’s sermons to children. His words are inspiring, thoughtful, practical, and meaningful. He’s a 19th century preacher who needs to be heard in the 21st century not just to adults but kids. And kids can understand him. Try him out. You’ll see.

Big Truths for Little Kids, Susan Hunt
The Westminster catechism in kids’ stories. Worthwhile.

Sunday Lessons

You can also use the emails that our teachers are sending out to you as points of discussion. You know what your kids are learning in class. Take those emails. Read them and ask your kids questions about what they are learning.

Personal Testimony

Also, share your testimony with your children. Keep it simple and you don’t have to include every detail. But your children need to know that you are a real person and like them a sinner. The more they understand you as a child of grace, the more they will see just how precious grace is for you and for them.

Answering Questions Thoughtfully

Children are ultra-inquisitive. You will find that sometimes, during family devotions, they will ask wonderful questions that give you an opportunity to share the Gospel. Look for those times. Praise them for such great questions. But always lead them back to Scripture so that they will know that you always find answers in the Bible. If you don’t know the answer, let them know that you will find out for them. Then feel free to talk to the LT or HG Leads or me and Tim about your questions.

Reading Great Books

Read some good books about God’s Word and about the Gospel and about biblical parenting, children, and the next generation. The more you learn, the more you can teach. Again, Tim and I are here to direct you to such resources so please ask. Here are some that I have found very helpful:

Shepherding a Child’s Heart, Tedd Tripp

Instructing a Child’s Heart, Tedd Tripp

Hints for Parents, Gardiner Spring

Family Driven Faith, Voddie Baucham

The Duties of Parents, J. C. Ryle

Everyday Talk, Jay Younts

Family Religion, Matthew Henry

Peacemaking for Families, Ken Sande

Buidling Strong Families, Dennis Rainey

The Heart of Anger (in children), Lou Priolo

Teach Them Diligently, Lou Priolo

Standing on the Promises, Douglas Wilson

The Shaping of a Christian Family, Elisabeth Eliot

Age of Opportunity, (on parenting teens) Paul Tripp

Rediscovering the Lost Treasure of Family Worship, Jerry Marcellino

Do Hard Things (two teenagers writing a book for teens and the rest of us), Brett and Alex Harris

Also, check out Bethlehem Baptist Church and the many materials they have for free online regarding parenting and families.

The third means to instructing our children is through restorative discipline. I use the adjective restorative because you need to know that our discipline is never punitive and never angry. Instead, discipline should lead a child to understand that it is well with them according to Ephesians 6:1-4:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” 4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

There is a promise in this text and it is the promise that a right use and view of discipline actually leads to a child’s genuine joy. But notice that it is not to provoke anger, but rather for the sake of instruction. Proverbs adds:

For the Lord reproves[disciplines] him whom he loves, as a father the son in whom he delights. (Prov 3:12)

A father disciplines because he loves his child. And then there is Revelation 3:19:

Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent.

We need to remember that children are born with a natural rebellion against God. A Godly, non-angry, loving discipline will remind a child that by obeying you, they are in actuality obeying God. Think of the two year old who punches her mom and says, “No.” How many of us dismiss such behavior as nothing more than the “terrible twos” and will “eventually grow out of it”? Children never grow out of sin and rebellion. They simply know how to be more subtle and deceptive in their sin. Children have not harnessed the subtleties of rebellion and deceit and so they act out what adults do behind closed doors or in their hearts or in the cubicles or on the phone. Adults are in the terrible 20s and 50s and 70s.

We discipline our children because we long to see them love God with their whole heart, soul, mind, and strength. But when we allow our children to control us, to dictate their agenda to us (“I want my ice cream now!” then tantrum), we not only neglect God’s commands but we are now in danger of actually sinning ourselves by becoming angry and frustrated with ourselves (“I am such a bad mom/dad.” with exasperation) our children (“That’s it. I’ve had it up to here with you. Now you’re REALLY going to get it!” screaming at the top of your lungs), and with our spouses (“I’ve had a bad day with YOUR kids! Now you take over!”), with the world (“I can’t talk to anyone right now. My kids are driving me bonkers!”), with God (“God, why don’t you love me enough to give me better children.”). Tedd Tripp observes:

We don’t see ourselves as God’s agents. We, therefore, correct our children when they irritate us. When their behavior doesn’t irritate us, we don’t correct them. Thus, our correction is not us rescuing our children from the path of danger; it is rather us airing our frustration. It is us saying to them, “I am fed up with you. You are making me mad. I am going to hit you, or yell at you, or make you sit on a chair in isolation from the family until you figure out what you did wrong.” What I have described is not discipline. It is punishment. It is ungodly child abuse. Rather than yielding a harvest of righteousness and peace, this sort of treatment leaves children sullen and angry. Is it any wonder that children resist the will of someone who moves against them because they have been an irritation? (Tedd Tripp, Shepherding a Child’s Heart, 38-39)

Discipline is a means to present the Gospel. But the only way this can happen is if it is done with love, with self-control, with kindness. Discipline is implemented for the purpose of obedience and submission to God. So it must be done CHICK.

Consistently: If we are inconistsent with our discipline, children will never know when to obey. Thus, we place them in peril simply because our discipline is haphazard and arbitrary which ultimately is cruel. If I tell my children that disobedience will be met with disicpline, and I choose to sometimes follow through and sometimes not to follow through in my discipline, my children will not know how or when to obey. They will be left guessing which is essentially unkind. The child will always be testing his boundaries to see what he can get away with. Therefore, inconsistent discipline actually reinforces rebellion and defiance because it adds deception to the disobedience as well. Consistency allows children to understand that disobedient actions lead to conequences and they need not try to guess right from wrong.

Humbly: Humility is absolutely essential in disciplining a child of any age, regardless of method. We are to model oursleves after a Savior who humbled Himself to death on a cross (Philippians 2:5-11). And so we discipline always remembering that ourselves are just as sinful and guilty as that child. Because of this humility, we are loving, gentle, kind, merciful even in our discipline. We remember James’ strong warning in James 2:13: “For judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment.”

Immediately: Discipline must be immediate. We are all natural forgettors. And so if we wait to discipline our children, they will eventually forget what they are being disciplined for which will seem like a disconnect to them. Regardless of the circumstances, do your best to discipline as soon as the definace and rebellion has taken place. Even if you need to leave a room or an event, do so for the sake of your parenting and for the restoration of your child.

Corporeally (relative to circumstances, lifestages): For those parents who believe corporal punishment is not biblical, one need only look to the many verses in Proverbs (and Proverbs is a book about a wisdom that leads us to love God) that clearly state the critical importance of corporal discipline (Proverbs 13:24; 22:15; 23:14; 29:15, 17; Hebrews 12:11). One must either say the Bible is invalid for parenting or must trust that to apply Godly and gracious corporal discipline actually lends itself to wisdom as it promises in Proverbs 29:15. But of course, this aspect of discipline must be age approriate (we shouldn’t be applying a rod to a 3month old crying, nor to a 30 year old woman) and we must fully be aware of the circumstances so as not to exasperate our children (Eph 6).

Kindly: Micah tells us that we should love kindness (Micah 6:8). It is something we must long for in our character. And so we must never discipline in anger (James 1:19). We must love kindness even as we discipline our children. To do so, one will see the fruit of a child who will eventually become a man or woman who will treasure that kindnes, even when he or she was being disciplined.
We are all disciplined by God adults and children alike. And God tells us why He does this in Hebrews 12:7-11:

It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? 8 If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. 9 Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? 10 For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. 11 For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

Do we trust Him that to discipline our children will actually produce this ‘peaceful fruit of righteousness,’ the same promise He gives to us as adults who are disciplined? May we believe so.

The fourth means to instructing our children is through humility. The Gospel reminds us that ‘no one is righteous’ (Rom 3:9), including parents. It reminds us that we are saved not because of the right things we do but because of God’s sheer mercy for us (Titus 3:5). And the Gospel reminds us that our attitude should be the same as Christ emptying Himself and becoming nothing (Phil 2:5-11). So we must approach our children in such a way. This is not to say that we become subservient to our children. No, we’re always in authority. But we are also quick to apologize to our kids when we do wrong. Tedd Tripp comments:

On many occasions, I have had to seek the forgiveness of my children for my anger or sinful response. I have had to say, ‘Son, I sinned against you. I spoke an unholy anger. I said things I should not have said. I was wrong. God has given me a sacred task, and I have brought my unholy anger into this sacred mission. Please forgive me. (Tedd Tripp, Shepherding a Child’s Heart, 35)

Humility before God requires us to even prepare to ask for the forgiveness of our children.

We are humble to do such things because we never forget that we ourselves are children before a loving Father. And we must never forget that we ourselves so desperately need the very Gospel that we model and teach our children.

Conclusion

My beloved friends, a value of the next generation’s souls is ultimately a value for your own soul. J. C. Ryle wisely notes:

And as for me, I will conclude by putting up my prayer to God for all who read this paper, that you may all be taught of God to feel the value of your own souls…Too often parents feel not for themselves, and so they feel not for their children. They do not realize the tremendous difference between a state of nature and a state of grace, and therefore they are content to let them alone. (J. C. Ryle, The Duties of Parents, 16)

He is right. You will find that as you long to see your children love the Lord, as you dream of future generations loving God and living for His glory, you yourself will have that same passion for your own soul.