Thanks so much Charlie for your thoughts. I hope my latest post on sanctification touched on some of the things you are reflecting on. Grudem’s quote helps much. We must always remember that reprobation does not cause God to rejoice. (However, some of Edwards’ disciples used to teach that God is glorified through hell and reprobation which is a whole other discussion.)

I think we must never lose sight of what Peterson calls “double agency” with what he would call and order of ultimacy. Scripture teaches God’s sovereignty fully and completely. Scripture also teaches human responsibility. In this sense there are two agents, God and man. Both are concurrent, and both respond. However, there is an order of ultimacy (which would protect against synergism (dual-action of God and man needed for salvation)). God is ultimate and man is pen-ultimate. How this all fits perfectly together must rest in the mystery of God (Isa 55:8-9). To ‘figure this out’ perfectly would be like figuring out the Trinity perfectly or the incarnation perfectly. We are told Scriptural truths that God has given to us and we’re asked to believe them, to do what we can to understand them in light of our finiteness, but in the end we some things must be left to God (Paul’s potter and clay argument in Romans 9). Without this leaving to God, we would be like God (the Tower of Babel hubris).

i think it would be humbling to seek out the criminal in heaven and see how passionately he is worshipping God

another section from grudem (p. 686):
“We must also remember that there are important differences between election and reprobation as they are presented in the Bible. Election to salvation is viewed as a cause for rejoicing and praising to God, who is worthy of praise and receives all the credit for our salvation (see Eph 1:3-6; 1 Pet 1:1-3) God is viewed as actively choosing us for salvation, and doing so in love and with delight. But reprobation is viewed as something that brings God sorrow, not delight (see Ezek 33:11), and the blame for the condemnation of sinners is always put on the people or angels who rebel, never on God himself (see John 3:18-19, 5:40).”

psalm 136 should remind us that God is love…it is the human heart that clings to a sense of entitlement of our own lives and the eternal destinies of our souls, that finds fault in the idea of reprobation…we/i tend to view God as somehow cruel and unjust to “deny” some people access into the gates of heaven…and i think ultimately, for the believer, election/reprobation shouldn’t be viewed simply as whether someone makes it heaven or not (even though that is the reality of God’s calling and our final destination), but rather, how one responds to the message of the gospel in this life that we are given on earth…the two criminals on the crosses next to Christ might be a good example…although one of the two criminals was elected for salvation by the Almighty Creator before the beginning of the world, it wasn’t until the day of his funeral that he was saved…he spent his entire life trampling on the glory of God…that is not how i would want to approach the throne of grace at the end of my earthly life…God is love, and his love and mercy and grace have rescued me from myself…i want/need to embrace that whole-heartedly today and everyday…i am incrementally understanding that his love and mercy and grace (and justice and power and glory…) can be best understood and displayed when not everyone is elected to salvation…if Christ promised both criminals that they would be with Him in paradise, there would be something fundamentally wrong with the message of the gospel…