Gospel Prism

When Charisa (my oldest daughter) and Sarah (my second) were a couple of years younger, we would take them to the local Barnes and Noble. And when we would get to the children’s section, they would race to the Princess books and begin reading. Shua and I were always disturbed by this for a few reasons. Here is what the logic was for my daughters when reading and looking at such things:

1. To be a Princess was to look a particular way. And rarely in those Princess books did you see anything less than a girl/woman with a perfect, buxom figure, a face loaded with cosmetics, and hair that was usually blond and beautiful.

2. To be a Princess was to find a handsome Prince. In such books it is almost as if the end goal in life was to find a Prince that also looked the part of a prince.

3. To be a Princess was to enjoy the finest and most luxurious of possessions. It meant that princesses deserved the best of all things. And of course this means that Princesses are entitled to her whims.

4. To be a Princess was that when hard times came along, Prince Charming, the castle, and the outward beauty would always be there at the end.

Now as Shua and I began to assess the value of Princess books, videos, and toys (this by the way is very much true for most Barbie dolls), we began to see that for a little girl, the standards that are set by Princess things are not the values we want for our girls. We teach our girls that they are royalty, but not because of their lineage or their outward beauty. Their royalty comes from being a “Daughter of the King.�

Galatians 4:4-7 says:

But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, 5to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons. 6And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!” 7So you are no longer a slave, but a son [and daughter], and if a son [daughter], then an heir through God.

They are heirs through God in Christ when they believe in Jesus (John 1:12). In this they have a new found identity that is not dependent on their outward appearance or their lineage or their marital choice. In Jesus Christ as Savior, to be a Daughter of the King means:

1. Daughters of the King are beautiful not because of what they look like or how they dress, but because of the awesome beauty of the Lord which makes them more beautiful than physical appearance could ever portray. Psalm 45 speaks of God’s bride, the people of Israel who obey Him. The Psalmist says this in verses 10-11: “Hear, O daughter, and consider, and incline your ear: forget your people and your father’s house, and the king will desire your beauty. Since he is your lord, bow to him.â€? The King (our God) desires the beauty of His people. And that beauty is highlighted not by what we physically appear to be, but His love for us.

My daughters are beautiful in God’s eyes because He loves them and gave Himself for them. And when they understand that, they are free to dress the way they please, wear makeup or not (at an appropriate age), and work out for their own physical health, and yes, even appear physically attractive (with modesty of course) for the man they will marry. But what defines their beauty is not one of those things, but because God finds their heart of worship and love for Him beautiful.

2. Daughters of the King do not need to find anyone, let alone a Prince. Sure, Daughters of the King marry. But because their ultimate identity is in Christ, their happy ending is guaranteed not when the toad kisses them on the lips to turn into Prince Charming. Their happy ending is guaranteed because their eternity is assured in the throne room of the King, where they rightfully belong. So Hebrews 4:16 says:

Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

3. Daughters of the King delight in the pleasures of God and are content with plenty and even in want (Philippians 4:10-20). Because the supreme joy of being in the King’s presence is so great, and because possessions are only a means to an end (satisfaction), Daughters are not stuck lusting and envying faded pictures of wealth and riches. Jesus said in Matthew 6:19-20:

Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, 20but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal.

Princesses set themselves up for stark disappointment. Daughters of the King never feel entitled to anything but are so thankful for the sheer grace of God in their lives. They fight the envy and the terrible pull of entitlement. Princesses are…well…princesses. They believe they deserve everything and so tehrefore when they do not get, they sulk, pout, or lust.

4. Daughters of the King are citizens of heaven as Paul writes in Philippians 3:20: “But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ.� So as citizens of heaven, they are not looking for magic endings. They are guaranteed something far better and no circumstance of life could ever rob them of such an ending. They are Daughters of the King.

My recommendation is to stay away from Princesses, Barbies, and the like. You might think I am being overly pedantic and a bit prudish. You might think that I am being extreme. But one day, little girls will grow to be teenage girls. If their early development as girls is to see the world as a world that requires physical beauty (Princess looks and shape) and a good looking guy (Prince Charming) and fancy clothing (Princess flowy dresses) and the best of possessions (a castle and horse drawn carriage and servants) to have happiness, then is it any wonder that when they are teenagers this is exactly what they will pursue? On top of this, of course, you have a sinful heart that is naturally deceptive (Jeremiah 17:9) and you have a Satan who feeds these desires (John 8:44) with his infernal lies. So as teenage girls, they long for such attention from boys and of course, hormone driven boys are eager to give such attention. You might grieve over how your teenage girl comes home from school miserable with the way she views her body. She feels as though she must look like the girls on the teen magazines to be popular and liked. She walks by stores like “Abercrombie and Fitch” with her friends in the mall and sees the young girls with the half naked ripped boys and thinks, “Only if I dress like that can I get that Prince Charming hunk on that poster.â€? And so she begins to dress in such a way and the sad tale continues. I think you get the picture.

You might think that this is an exaggeration. But if your values lead you to think that your child can right now discern what is good, pleasing, and perfect in God’s will (Romans 12:1-2), you are sorely mistaken. As parents, we are setting the tone and values for our children, and yes, our daughters. So please reconsider your toy, video, and book choices for your girls. Will you raise a Princess or a Daughter of the King? Just say no to Princesses, I say. It could give your daughter an eternal satisfaction in being true royalty.