Gospel Prism

When Saul went to the witch of Endor and talked to Samuel in the apparition, he was told that he would lose his kingdom and die the next day. Here was his response to the vision:

Then Saul fell at once full length on the ground, filled with fear because of the words of Samuel. And there was no strength in him, for he had eaten nothing all day and all night. 21And the woman came to Saul, and when she saw that he was terrified, she said to him, “Behold, your servant has obeyed you. I have taken my life in my hand and have listened to what you have said to me. 22Now therefore, you also obey your servant. Let me set a morsel of bread before you; and eat, that you may have strength when you go on your way.” (1 Samuel 28:20-23)

It sounds like a right response, one of fear and dread. But imagine if he would have responded the same way David did after Natahn confornted David with his sin of adultery and murder:

David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the LORD.” And Nathan said to David, “The LORD also has put away your sin; you shall not die. 14Nevertheless, because by this deed you have utterly scorned the LORD, the child who is born to you shall die.” 15Then Nathan went to his house. (2 Samuel 12:13-14)

and…

And the LORD afflicted the child that Uriah’s wife bore to David, and he became sick. 16David therefore sought God on behalf of the child. And David fasted and went in and lay all night on the ground. 17And the elders of his house stood beside him, to raise him from the ground, but he would not, nor did he eat food with them. 18On the seventh day the child died. And the servants of David were afraid to tell him that the child was dead, for they said, “Behold, while the child was yet alive, we spoke to him, and he did not listen to us. How then can we say to him the child is dead? He may do himself some harm.” 19But when David saw that his servants were whispering together, David understood that the child was dead. And David said to his servants, “Is the child dead?” They said, “He is dead.” 20Then David arose from the earth and washed and anointed himself and changed his clothes. And he went into the house of the LORD and worshiped. He then went to his own house. And when he asked, they set food before him, and he ate. 21Then his servants said to him, “What is this thing that you have done? You fasted and wept for the child while he was alive; but when the child died, you arose and ate food.” 22He said, “While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept, for I said, ‘Who knows whether the LORD will be gracious to me, that the child may live?’ 23But now he is dead. Why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he will not return to me.” (2 Samuel 12:15-23)

Now I am not the Lord, so I do not know exactly what he would have done if Saul had truly repented before Him. But I know that according to what the Lord tells Ezekiel in Ezekiel 1821:23, God is a merciful God. The Lord says:

“But if a wicked person turns away from all his sins that he has committed and keeps all my statutes and does what is just and right, he shall surely live; he shall not die. 22None of the transgressions that he has committed shall be remembered against him; for the righteousness that he has done he shall live. 23Have I any pleasure in the death of the wicked, declares the Lord GOD, and not rather that he should turn from his way and live?

Saul would have been saved through his humility before God and of course, BY God’s incredible grace. But instead, Saul simply sits in misery, fear, self-pity, and trouble. His response to sin is not one of guilt and shame and humility, but one of pride, arrogance, self-pity. And in the end, this is still his desire to be his own God. He just never gets it. Even at the end of his life, when he is confronted with the darkest of times, he still clings to his own ways.

That’s a wake up call to many of us who also undergo times of trial. If suffering comes our way, do we blame God first or do we trust God first even in the midst of anguish? Beware of sulking and self-pity. Once you have the “woe is me” feeling and perspective, your heart is no differnt than Saul’s heart. I hope mine and your outcome is one that takes David’s course than Saul’s. Listen to David is Psalm 51 after hearing from Nathan:

10Create in me a clean heart, O God,
and renew a right spirit within me.
11Cast me not away from your presence,
and take not your Holy Spirit from me.
12Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
and uphold me with a willing spirit.

Our eternal lives depend on a right response. Let’s remove the idolatry of self-pity from our lives.